How to talk to kids about ski racing
It is not important that your kids do a ski race. For most kids who learn to ski at BKL, skiing will be a fun way to get outside in winter. That’s awesome. There is not, and never will be, any pressure to race. However in our experience, the ski racing scene is super fun, supportive and positive. Many kids who try racing enjoy it, and almost all kids are skeptical or intimidated at first. The following is a guide to talking with your kids about ski racing, or anything competitive/ intimidating, to help them think about why it might be worth giving it a try.
A Q&A
Kid: “I don’t want to ski race!”
You: “I hear you, but before you decide about going to this race, let me tell you what the ski race is going to be like. It is a big skiing party – so many kids skiing around everywhere (not so many grownups), everyone having a great time. There will be a box of cow bells that you can borrow to cheer on the other skiers. If you get excited and want to go in a race, everyone will cheer for you. Oh, and if you want, we can put glitter on your cheeks like the world cup ski racers do. Plus your coaches will make your skis really fast for the race, and you can wear a race suit or a costume.”
Kid: “But what if I don’t win?”
You: “The point of ski racing isn’t to ski faster than anyone else, it’s to ski as fast as YOU can. Everyone who starts a ski race is super brave and a winner. We all know it can make kids a little nervous to go in a race, so if you decide to do it everyone will be so excited for you.”
Kid: “Will there be kids who are faster than me?”
You: “Yes – there are kids of all different ages, and some of them have done lots of races. It will be really fun to watch them zoom around. The races are split up by age so you’ll be in a race with kids your age. Also, every kid was once in their first race, and they will be really excited to watch and cheer for you.”
Kid: “I want place in the top 5 in my race”
You: “You might do that, but it’s probably better to have a goal that only you can control. Maybe you could make a goal about what you want to concentrate on in your race? Doing really nice striding, or V2? Or maybe what you want to have for dinner when we get home, or how loudly you’re going to cheer for your friends.”
Kid: “What if I fall down?”
You: “Everyone who has ever gone in ski races has fallen down in ski races. World cup ski racers fall down, kid ski racers fall down. You just get back up and keep ski racing.”
Kid: “What if I don’t know where to go?”
You: “The course will be marked VERY well. Also, we’ll get there early so that you can ski the course with your coaches so you know where to go. One of the really cool things about ski racing is that once the race starts you get to do it all by yourself – it’s like an adventure that just you go on (Note: Lollipop skiers can have a parent along, so this doesn’t apply to them).
Kid: “How long will my race be?”
You: Lollipop race: “About 3 minutes”
Grade 1/2 and above: “About 10-15 minutes”
Kid: “What if I try it and I don’t like it?”
You: “Then we’ll be super proud of you for really trying something that seemed hard and a little scary. If you decide you don’t want to do any more races, no problem.”
But I have parent questions!
You: “What race should I sign my kid up for?! Lollipop race? What?”
Us: The races are split up by grade. Lollipop races are for kids in kindergarten and younger (or slightly older kids new to racing (yes, they get lollipops at the finish line, no don’t argue). After that Grade 1 and 2 are a category, Grade 3/4, Grade 5/6 and 7/8. Within those races ribbons are awarded within gender and experience categories. Novice categories will be offered in Grade 3/4 and up.
Other than lollipop, BKL races have gender categories. Often everyone races together but ribbons are given by gender category. Trans and gender-creative kids should choose the category that’s right for them. NENSA’s policy is “All BKL athletes are welcome to participate in the gender category in which they identify without restriction.”
You: “When should we get there?”
Us: You should be there at least 1 hour before your race. It takes time to park, sign in, warm up and pre-ski the course. We try to encourage all the kids to attend the full set of races and cheer for their teammates. The race days usually run for about 2 hours.
You: “Where do we go when we get there?”
Us: XC Skiers are nice people. If it’s not obvious, ask and someone will help you find the registration table. There you can pick up your kid’s race bib (number), and find a map of the course and the race schedule. Then you and your kid can find one of us, and we will help them warm-up and pre-ski the course (so they know where they’re going).
You: “How should we prepare?”
Us: There is a lot of stuff to remember. We always make “flat children” the night before the race with their clothes set out in the shape of a person. Kids can become surprisingly good at doing this themselves.
Flat children consist of:
- A light wool or synthetic base layer top and bottom
- A race suit, top and bottom (if they want)
- A light jacket
- A puffy jacket
- Overpants (ideally ones that can come off over ski boots)
- Wool socks
- Mittens, a hat, a buff/neckwarmer
- Ski boots
- Any bling (tutu, glitter, costume, etc.)
- Note: for Lollipopers the puffy coat and snowpants can stay on for the race.
- Note #2: if you don’t have some of these things let us know – the local ski community hands outgrown gear down to us and we’re happy to pass it along.
Then in the morning put everything either onto the kid or into a bag.
Also in the bag:
- Water
- A few granola/energy bars
- Winter boots + snowpants (for playing after the race.)
Then make sure that the skis and poles are in the car (unless you’ve passed them off to one of the coaches for waxing).
If it turns out you forgot something, don’t panic. We’ve all done this and have found ways to share or borrow gear so that everyone can race.
Food before races: kids do not need to eat a specific thing before ski races. But, they do need to eat – ski racing uses a lot of energy. So offer them some kind of breakfast that they like, and then a granola bar, PB&J, or other snack and a drink of water in the hour before the race. You might have to insist that they eat a bite of something. After the race, watch out – they’ll be hungry!
You: “You said something about waxing – I’m scared!”
Us: Don’t worry!! Wax can help your kid’s skis go fast, and that will make their race fun, and it is a complicated art. We will take care of the technical aspects, help you get acquainted with how things work, and get wax on your kids skis. Sometimes that will require a little leg-work before hand, but it’s worth it. This is as much or more for the mental boost it will give your kid that we are taking them seriously as it will be for any performance increase.
You: “What should I say to my kid (or any other kid) after the race?”
Us: Express your profound joy and pride that they did something SUPER hard! Do this so enthusiastically that it would seem ridiculous for them to feel disappointment about results. Ask them how they felt in the race. Ask them to tell you the story of the race. Encourage them to go say congratulations to the other racers. Really encourage them to go and do a “warm-down” ski with the other racers (world cup ski racers all do warm-down skis after every race!). Encourage them to go play with the other kids.
You: “Should I go in a race too?”
Us: YES!! There is no better way to support your kid in braving their first race than joining a race yourself. There is usually a grownup community race along with each BKL race, and it is always super fun. Having your kids cheer for you is AMAZING. The best way to model a healthy relationship with competition is to, um, model a healthy relationship with competition by going in a race.
You: “But I’m not a good ski racer – I wouldn’t do very well”
Us: Um… Yes! A healthy relationship with competition doesn’t focus on results, it focuses on personal growth and process. So go out there, grow and learn!